wisegirlz

a blog about the book, "Smart Girl, Stupid World" by Sarah Siegand

“Stupid Is As Stupid Does” (Excerpt from Ch. 1) February 16, 2011

Filed under: Ch. 1: Get Smart (Excerpt) — Sarah Siegand @ 1:38 am

I was barely 17 years old, and boy was I dumb. The fact that I was a good Christian girl who abstained from everything and made straight A’s made my stupidity even more unbelievable. How could a girl with such a promising future find herself hundreds of miles from home, alone with a boy in his bedroom (a boy with not-so-great intentions, mind you), no parents in sight, and all because of an “innocent” lie?

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Our high school speech team was at a big out-of-state tournament, and I “innocently” asked my coach if I could stay at my “cousin’s” house in that same city, instead of staying with the team at the hotel. My “cousin” wasn’t my cousin at all, but a boy named Mike, who I had met at a music camp during the previous summer break.  I barely knew him except from a few phone calls and one short visit with two of my girlfriends a few months before.

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I know, I know… it looks completely suspicious. Honestly, I had no intentions of doing anything with Mike beyond staying in his family’s guest room and eating some of his cereal in the morning. Yes, I was the typical girl who would make youth pastors and parents roll their eyes and say, “Hellooo! What were you thinking?”  How could I have missed the likelihood that maybe this boy was expecting something out of the overnight stay?  How could I have lied about it in the first place? After all, I was the poster-child for a fine, upstanding young lady. I was a church-going Christian who bragged about my virginity and didn’t drink, smoke or party.

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Somehow I was oblivious to the idea that Mike wanted to jump me. I know, it’s very hard to believe.  But I was.  Honestly, I just liked the attention he gave me, and I thought spending extra time with him would give me plenty of it. When my “aha!” moment came, I suddenly saw what a dangerous position I had put myself in.  Mike and I were sitting on his bed looking at pictures in a photo album, his parents already sound asleep, and he suggested we take a dip in his hot tub.

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“I didn’t bring a bathing suit,” I told him dismissively. And then he just looked at me, uncaring, with a mischievous grin.  I finally got it, and then… I totally panicked.

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I was caught between feelings of, “How could I be so stupid?” and “I gotta look cool.” My panic stole whatever courage I might have had.  Oh how I wish I would have said, “Look, creep, my body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, and you better keep your impure thoughts and intentions to yourself!” Instead, I floundered through some lame excuse about how I didn’t think I could do that because some other guy had emotionally scarred me by trying to move too fast. I tried to get the sympathy vote by looking like a poor damsel in distress, but instead I looked (you guessed it) plain stupid! I knew my excuse looked ridiculous, and I hated myself for not telling the truth anyway. Thankfully, he got the hint and we both went off to sleep in our separate rooms without so much as a hug. Crisis averted, let the self-loathing begin.

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Only after some time did I start to realize what else could have happened that night. What if Mike had started to reach for me? What if he had become forceful? Would I have been able to fend him off? Would I have just given in? After all, even though I definitely did not want to have sex with this boy, I certainly had a level of attraction for him or I wouldn’t have done so much lying to spend time with him. If he had made further advances, would I have just kept my mouth shut and followed his lead?

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That night I barely escaped a potentially dangerous situation, suffering only humiliation. Unfortunately, I know many stories of young ladies who did not escape. Before my mother was married, a similar situation ended in an unplanned pregnancy and a secret adoption. The entire course of a young woman’s life can be derailed in moments like these.

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Sadly, I went on to do many more stupid things throughout my adolescence and young adult years. Most of my stupidity had to do with boys, attention, and relationships. The fact that I survived those years spiritually is nothing short of a miracle to me. Thankfully, I had some great leaders in my life who were praying for me, even though they didn’t know all I was dabbling in (I kept those things secret, of course… isn’t that what all good Christian girls do?).

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**The rest of Chapter One will be available by download soon. Check back for more information.**

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